Musings ... I guess?

My blog turned 4 and I didn't even pay my blog a visit, let alone write something nice about it. (oh by the way, that was a long time ago.) Couldn't come up with a good starting line. Lame huh? Alright , I give up. Who am I kidding anyway! Never ever been good at that, but hoping to be someday. :) Hey now what's wrong with hoping huh? For all we know, hope is a good thing,maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies(rhetorical I know) . Okay this is getting ridiculous. I so get carried away and I am not gonna let that happen now. Now coming to the point,( well I don't really have a point) . This is just me trying to get back in form. Its been ages(literally) since I blogged and I feel terrible about it. Few years ago I have been so obsessed with blogging that I check every once in a while to see if someone has dropped a comment. I check Indiblogger way too often than necessary,to see if someone has voted for my post and this has been my crazy routine for a couple of months no matter what. I so eagerly wait to see my ranking and one sweet comment used to make my day. 

Today I'm wondering where that part of me is. Has it just faded away or have I become way too busy to not find time for something I used to be crazy about. Well the answer is very simple and it pricks me as hard as ice. I lost interest. I wouldn't let myself believe that as well but that doesn't make that any less true. 

Every time someone asks me something about my blog, I brush it away saying, I just stopped. Somewhere in between, I lost interest and why is that, I have no idea. Now how many of you can relate to this? Not necessarily your blog, but just anything that you used to love doing but you no longer do. Can you think of a reason why you stopped doing it? 

This crazy life of ours has made our routine so monotonous that we stop doing things that made us who we are now. Never ever let that old self of you die. No matter how busy you are and how much you get carried away, take some time away  from this crazy routine and spend some time with yourself, for all its worth, we get to live only once and there is no promised tomorrow. I do not wish to make a promise or anything of that sort, but I will strive really hard to not let that part of me die. 

If this post, in anyway, got you thinking, nothing makes me more happy than that and if you thought reading this was a waste of time , ha who cares what you think, its my blog! :D :D 

SSN-A walk down the memory lane

For those who are wondering what SSN is, that is where I spent 4 wonderful years of my life. One that would never come back and the one that everyone calls it, the honeymoon period of one's life. Yes you guessed it right. 

SSN - A journey that cannot be quite summarized in a paragraph or two, but as I sit down to write, so many memories flashes in my mind. Can’t help but take a quick walk down the memory lane that changed me in ways I never thought was quite possible.

Change!  Now who would embrace change? The fear of not knowing what to anticipate doesn't sound very pleasant to many of us. Although the change terrified me, going to college was something I looked forward to. For some reason, breaking out of my cocoon sounded fascinating and challenging. The fear of an unknown future was over powered by the nerve to face the challenges with gusto.  

The best thing about college was that, it was not just about academics. Learning doesn't end there. I learnt the hard way that not everyone is alike and it took a lot of me patience to get in terms with that. On the plus side, I realized that this has strengthened my fortitude. Being an adult brings its own baggage. You ask for it or not, responsibilities will be thrust upon us. Call it a woe of being an adult or whatever, but the grass is always greener on the other side isn't it? The self-confidence and the courage to face the world that this instigates is something that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Had I been anywhere else other than SSN, I wonder if I would have been the way I am now. SSN is the place where I was given the freedom to make my own decisions. “Fail until you succeed.. Explore as much as you can.. Now is always the right time.” Is something that dawned upon me.

Nostalgia strikes. What is learning without fun?  My inhibition went off instantly when my seniors made me feel at home. No I don’t quite term it as ragging.  Someone needs to break the ice after all. Those endless bus journeys. Now let me tell you something. It will take about an hour for me to reach college. So that had been my time to write observations (God, that term sounds so alien to me right now ) ,study for the unit tests(now don't laugh ok? Those were taken into serious consideration. That fetches us our internal marks),talk ,talk and talk and when its finally time to get down, finish with an "I will continue that story tomorrow :D " The last minute preps for the semester exams! This list is just never ending.. Those were indeed the moments that will be etched in my memories forever.! Just when I felt exhausted and needed to break free from the monotony, Instincts was round the corner. (Instincts is my college cultural fest) Racked my brain for the department symposium. Not to mention the ODs that will be provided for all this.  Sneaked in and sneaked out as and when I felt like (:P). 

No one is gonna make you do things forcibly. You are what you want to be. That is how great the culture at SSN is! 

If at all I could go back, I would be so glad to. But life doesn't provide us with a rewind button. Those four years goes by in the blink of an eye. All that I have now is the memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Love Undefined - Chapter 7

Take me to the Index

Previous Chapter : Love Undefined - Chapter 6

No matter what happened, she decided to talk it out the next day and set things right. If only I would be given a second chance,she prayed hard ...

The next day, Radha remained silent and it was very unusual of her. Priya was struck by guilt and the worst part was she had no idea what she should do to set things right. A voice inside her spoke, Give time some time Priya. Almost everything heals with the passage of time. All you have to do is be patient and wait. That sounds right,she thought but to no avail.With every passing day, she seemed to be living with strangers. Even Tarun seemed like a person she hardly knew. And finally the day came when Radha would be leaving to India. Their relationship had been so strained that all Priya could do was cry and cry about her misfortune and Radha wondering if she was really happy when her son got married. It all seemed so strange and weird. Everyone seemed to be speaking in silence except for Shrey of course.He had come to love his grand parents so much that he did not like it when they bid good bye to him. He wanted to leave with them and he somehow succeeded in strongly conveying that. It took a lot of her patience to calm Shrey down and by the end of the day, Priya was completely exhausted and she finally called it a day.

Days passed. Radha stopped skyping much. She spoke to her son for sometime and left as soon as possible. Tarun's rage was rising. He wanted to yell at Priya. But he knew he couldn't. After all both Priya and his mom acted they way how a mother and a grand mom would. Months passed. Tarun couldn't take it anymore and he decided to talk to Priya about it. Without further ado he called out Priya. Priya was taken by surprise. This is the 1st time since who-knows-how-many-days that Tarun had called her with little concern in his voice. She rushed to where he was and stood there . Silence filled the room and Priya could clearly listen to the rhythm of her heartbeat and she started counting. Anything to keep my mind off , she told herself. Tarun stood there with his eyes fixed on hers.
Just when Priya was losing her patience, he spoke. We are going to India next month.
Priya was so stunned and she stood there frozen. Tarun's words re-vibrated in her mind. She couldn't quite comprehend if it was anger or anxiety that she was feeling. Innumerable questions popped up in her mind but she couldn't find the courage to spit it out. So she decided to stay silent. Who knows what other surprises he's got in store for me, she mumbled. What? ?? Tarun sounded irritated. She decided not to speak against and decided to go with the usual stereotyped reply.
Nothing, she said out loud. 

Shopping and packing occupied her mind for the next few days.She didn't have to try so hard to distract herself. By now, Shrey had turned 2 and he wouldn't stop talking. Everything fascinated him. He was like the most adorable kid one could ask for. Atleast that is what Priya thought he is. If someone was most excited about the trip to India, then it was Shrey. Ofcourse he didn't know what it meant. All he knew was that it is where his thatha and paati(grandparents) lived. He would daily ask if he would be meeting them today and that ofcourse irritated Priya. Everytime he questions, that would send a chill down her spine. She wasn't very sure how she was going to confront Radha and make up for all the misunderstandings that has happened over the past few months. She tried hard to push that thought but it somehow kept resurfacing. Apparently her mind was not familiar with the quote "Let her cross the bridge when it comes" Days passed and finally the day came when they would be flying to India.
Being done with all the pre-boarding formalities and having nothing to do to kill the time, her thoughts drifted and thus began her longest  journey....

Next Chapter : Love Undefined Chapter 8

Love Undefined - Chapter 6

Take me to the Index

Previous Chapter :Love Undefined Chapter 5

Shrey!!! Wait.. Radha bellowed..Shrey is now 1 year old. And he had recently discovered the art of moving around with 2 legs and is quite excited about it. When he had started walking, he takes few steps and then gives everyone a look-even-I-can-walk kinda look. There is now not a place in the house which he hasn't explored. He knows every nook and corner of the house. Not just the place but the things as well. Tarun's cell phone often is taken out from the washing machine whereas the keys somehow find its way to the refrigerator. Laptop is his favourite eating spot. The food and himself take turns on who sits on it.No you cannot fool him with a fake laptop.He knows to differentiate between the original and the duplicate. Radha cannot help but talk about how similar Tarun and Shrey are. Brag rather than talk. She would say that a minimum of 10 times a day. Even though it irritated Priya, she would pretend as if she's least bothered about what Radha says. One thing Priya could never tolerate is the way Radha pampers Shrey, just like the way she did to Tarun.
She had spoke about this to Tarun umpteen times and not once did she get a proper reply. She was afraid that she's gonna burst out someday and that day is not so far as with every passing day, her rage kept rising. This too shall pass, she convinced herself and fell asleep.

The next day dawned. They had a birthday party to attend. She was in no mood to get out of home that day. But again,social gathering are to be attended says Tarun. Hence she dressed up as soon as possible not really bothered about how she looked and they started. Shrey was becoming more and more adamant and Priya couldn't tolerate seeing her kid turning into a brat. But again,Tarun argued telling this is how kids of his age will behave. She found it pointless arguing with him. As they reached the party,everyone else had arrived. There were a group of ladies so busy in their own world . And the men were all busy chit chatting. The kids were busy giggling and playing around with the toys piled up. Shrey recognizing two of his friends, ran towards them and started playing. Radha ran behind him to keep a closer eye on him.No sooner they heard a loud cry. Everyone rushed to the place from where the noise originated. It was Shrey who had pushed another kid for not letting him play. Radha was sitting beside Shrey . Priya burst out on seeing what had happened. Do not make my son like yours,She yelled at Radha, picked up Shrey and left the place.

Their house was filled with nothing but silence that evening.Oblivion to his surrounding, Shrey was happily playing.Sooner everyone went to bed. Priya was lost in thoughts.She felt terrible about the way she shouted at Radha.Tarun was equally pissed that he did not utter a word to Priya. If at all looks could kill, he would have burnt her by now.All Priya could do was cry.She even doubted if this was the guy she had fallen madly in love with. Her only solace were the memories of the past.Those memories kept her sane.She had thought that when people are in love, nothing else mattered but she realized now that when you marry a guy, you marry his family and it is very essential to maintain a cordial relationship with everyone in the family.  No matter what happened, she decided to talk it out the next day and set things right. If only I would be given a second chance,she prayed hard ...


Next Chapter : Love Undefined Chapter 7

Vote for a change!

Frustrated with the way you are charged for taking an auto in Chennai? If yes, then your sign can bring about a change. All you have to do is sign the petition to rationalize the auto fares in Chennai.

http://www.change.org/petitions/rationalise-auto-rickshaw-fares-in-chennai-chennaiauto#

Remember, its just a click away. Do share it as much as possible :)
Tweet with the hashtag #Chennaiauto

Love Undefined Chapter 5

Take me to the Index

Previous Chapter : Love Undefined Chapter 4

Hopefully,she thought... But something told her that things are not gonna get any better. She tried hard to sleep, but she couldn't. When it comes to taking sides between mom and wife, the guy invariably supports his mom.

So much for 8 years of being in love,she shrugged.
Wouldn't you want that when it comes to Shrey? A voice from inside called out. Priya did not have an answer for that.

The voice went on. See this is the problem with you. You want everything to be as you want it to be. Why can't you digest the fact that she's his mom and that is never gonna change. Possessiveness is the sweetest and the most dangerous thing isn't it? she said out loud. That woke Tarun up.
What? He sounded irritated. 
No nothing, she whispered back.
It was obvious that she was disturbed and Tarun did not bother questioning further as he very well knew the reason.
Just go to sleep. You staying up all night and shouting random sentences is not gonna change anything,he said as he switched off the bed side lamp. 
Priya thought to herself, starting tomorrow, I am gonna try to be a better daughter in law. She smiled to herself and she drifted to sleep. 

The next day dawned. She had decided that the first step towards being a good DIL is getting up early.She had decided to get up by 4:30.Fail.It was 5:45 when she got up and Radha was already up.
Okay don't give up now. You can do it,she tried strengthening her determination.
She switched on the light and she took a look at Shrey and Tarun. Look at the way both sleep.Like dad like son , she thought and she scurried to finish all her morning chores and hurried to the kitchen to make some coffee.  
A day just cannot be called one without a cuppa coffee,she sighed.
She thought of draping herself in a Saree. But fail, she had long forgotten the art of wearing one. Her pep talk seem to have no effect with every passing moment. She thought of having a "friendly conversation" with her MIL and she started with a Good morning Ma. Radha smiled and replied back. Silence prevailed. Priya did not know how to proceed and she left the place embarrassed. Fail,fail and fail again, she sighed.
Her next venture was to prepare Radha's favourite food and did a pretty good job messing up with it.  
No wonder, she thought to herself.  
One thing that made her happy is that she managed not to keep a straight face when Radha was with Shrey and trying to boss Priya around. It did irritate her, but she managed to put up a smile on her face.

Meanwhile Radha was noticing the series of strange events happening around. She smirked, it takes a lot more than that to be a good DIL.
Tarun was having a good time watching this from a distance.
For once I get a chance to stay away and enjoy the show,he grinned.  

Days passed and with every passing day,Priya seemed less motivated towards being a good DIL. She was trying hard to keep a check on her temper. Priya knew that no one's at fault.
Its just the differences we have that is keeping us from getting along,she was talking to Tarun. I am clueless about how this works. You have no idea how badly I want this to work and how hard I am trying. Tears started rolling down her cheeks.
Tarun hugged her and spoke, I know Priya. I know how hard it is for you. I have been seeing you try so hard and I know how hard it is to convince my mom let alone satisfy her.Don't push yourself so much. Everything will be fine soon. I will talk to mom about this. Priya continued crying silently. She felt better crying on his shoulders and in no time, she was sound asleep...

(oh wait!!! Where is Shrey?? )

Next Chapter : Love Undefined Chapter 6

Love Undefined Chapter 4

Take me to the Index 

Previous Chapter : Love Undefined Chapter 3

Make it soon. We are going to be late to the airport,Radha was shouting at the top of her voice. Ever since Tarun confirmed their visit, Radha could never stop bragging about it. She had been calling up all her relatives and spoke nonstop about how lucky she is to have a son like Tarun. Its a boy, Tarun had said. From that day on, all her dreams were about her not yet born grandchild.He's gonna look exactly like our Tarun, she kept telling her husband. She no more felt insecure about losing her son. 

Are you done yet? The taxi arrived about ten minutes ago and you are still not done. Radha was way too anxious about their travel. This will be the first time she's flying and that mere thought made her nauseous. This will be the first time she's going far away from home . She did not like the idea of leaving home for a duration of 6 months but she thought to herself, anything for my son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took them another one hour to finally reach the airport. Being quite an observer, she kept turning her head 360 degrees and tried to survey the environment. Meanwhile, her husband was taking care of all the pre boarding formalities. And then someone caught her attention. He must be 2-3 years old. He was busy playing with something. It took her few minutes to realize that its an iPad similar to the one Tarun had gifted her. She approached him silently and sat in a seat next to him. He was still engrossed in the game of his. She took a peek. No luck.She could hardly guess what he was doing.